And God said "Let Go"

As Mark and I have been discussing plans for the next year, we've been talking about places to live and careers/graduate schools that may lead us to those places but we've also been discussing some mission opportunities such as Teach for America or Youth Encounter. With all of these choices, I have been struggling to stay calm and to remember that life is simple because I am living God's plan. So, as I prayed before bed I said, "God give me some kind of sign, some kind of hint of what we're supposed to do." Then I had the same dream I have been having a lot lately.

In this dream I am always hanging on to something, a ladder, some wood, a tree limb, and the only way to get down is to let go and fall. Each night in my dream the person I am hanging on with is able to let go but I never can. Last night in my dream it was my sister, and she just let go, and fell and laughed, and landed on two feet ready to take on the next challenge. I woke up right after that and said, "Okay God, I get it. I'll let go." This is me, letting go and letting God.

Pre-Holiday Madness

This evening Mark came down to visit for the night. We went to dinner with Mom and Dad and then took off to do some Christmas shopping. We didn't find what we were looking for but we did find a great Rice Krispie Holiday House kit. Thanks to a 40% off coupon we made it ours!

The evening that followed was wonderful. The kit makers included far too little marshmallows, far too much icing and candy, and directions that would have been good to follow. The marshmallows didn't make enough soup, the cereal was crunchy, and it all led to wild laughter. Thanks to Dad we have pictures of the fun...

And after a second trip to the store to purchase MORE marshmallows we were able to make a beautiful house and a scary snowman. In short, the kit itself was pointless but one thing the box didn't lie about was the memories... Since Mark and I are never actually able to be together on the holidays we have learned to treasure the holidayish moments that we do have together.

More Into the BEING than the GETTING

Every time I have a conversation with someone about being engaged, they almost always respond with "The big day will be here before you know it" or "Just enjoy the planning process." I want to cry every time someone says that to me.

Mark and I have been together for more than two years and we have been engaged for most of that time. I knew I wanted to marry him long before we even began dating and so no, the big day is not coming fast enough and the planning process cannot possibly be as much fun as being married. I am thankful for all of the experiences that we have had as a couple in the past two years and I am thankful for the lessons that we have learned together but I am ready to begin having them while living together.

In short I am, as I have been for quite a while, ready to be married. I am far more interested in being married, in having a lifetime of happiness, than I am in the act of getting married. Is it May 23rd yet?

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas...

I have always, always been a HUGE lover of the holiday season. I start my Christmas shopping/crafting in August and the card writing process begins on Halloween. This year I have the pleasure of working retail during the holiday season. My co-workers tell me it will be one of the worst experiences of my life due to pushy people, coupons with too many exclusions, and the constant rotation of holiday music. But despite their claims, I plan on enjoying the next month and a half with all of my heart! Our store is fully decorated in Macy's red and silver, with stars and lights, and they've begun putting Christmas music into the music loop and I LOVE IT!