Nine.

 Today our Miracle Girl is NINE.

Nine years ago today was the tipping point in my life. While I had experienced pain, loss grief, sadness, and joy I had never before (and never again) experienced it the way I did the morning of October 5, 2011. To lose our girl, to not know if she was alive, to wonder how I would ever move on if good news didn't come from the NICU, and the incredible joy of learning that she lived. I have never been so terrified, so dependent on God, so lost in a moment as I was that morning.  

For years I struggled with immense grief at knowing just how it feels to see a lifeless child. I struggled with the anger of an experience that I later felt could have been avoided. It was so difficult and confusing that no one else seemed to understand. I wanted to scream if one more person said, "Thank goodness she is healthy now. You're both okay." I wasn't okay, she wasn't okay. We spent years seeing specialists, meeting a very high out of pocket deductible year after year. I physically and emotionally wasn't okay. It took so much therapy and so multiple surgeries to "fix" me. 

Today marks nine years of survival - for all of us.

We waited so long to have a baby and were so thankful for God's goodness and grace in saving her. That afternoon, meeting her in NICU, I promised her that if she would just hang in here on earth, that we would give her the world. She did - so we do.

At nine, Annabeth is funky, creative, kind, and growing more and more into her own person. Last week, we had her friend party with some homeschool friends and it was so fun to watch her pick "The Babysitters Club" as a theme. She decorated the mantle with books, created her own Claudia Kishi costume, and then designed/baked/decorated her own dream Barbie cake. 

We decorated the mantle with all of Annabeth's BSC Books

Bright shoes, funky socks, embellished overalls, pink hair - she came 

to her party as Claudia Kishi

Annabeth planned, shopped for, designed, baked,

and decorated her own cake!

There are so many days when I want to just cry at how old she is but I never, never take a moment for granted. We're so unbelievably blessed to be her parents, for God's faithfulness in restoring her heart and giving her very few complications from birth. 

So, my dear Annabeth Sage, on your #9 - Thank you. Thank you for being patient while I learned to parent and while we worked too hard to protect you. Thank you for being kind, loving, and sweet to everyone. Thank you for serving others and for loving your brother. We are so thankful that you are ours, our Miracle Girl.