Today marks the beginning of our 14th year of marriage.
Often over the past few years we have often said to each other "Does it scare you how easy this feels?" or "Does life just feel too good?" For several years now, Mark and I have had a real peace in our marriage.
We, like all people, have disputes - namely over me leaving cabinet doors open, failing to organize items the "right" way, and busy schedules AND over his clutter on the counters, laundry piles, and shopping habits. But aside from little spats, the kind one would have with anyone they live with, we haven't had a real argument in years.
Over the winter, I heard a couple say that things were going so well for them because 'they had all their big fights in their first 7 years of marriage.' In a way, I think that's really true!
The real secret to our contentedness? We have each committed to giving the other 100%
In previous anniversary posts, I have written that we believe the secret to marriage is saying yes and showing up. I think those are both absolutely necessary alongside doing those things 100% of the time. By giving our spouse our BEST version of ourselves we can guarantee that we love them well.
While we live in a world that promotes self-care, self-interest, and sharing jobs 50/50 but the Bible certainly sets a higher standard for us. Ephesians 5 reminds believers to "submit themselves to one another out of reverence for Christ...wives should submit themselves to their husbands...husbands love your wife has Christ loves the church.." WOW! Those are some BIG asks!
In committing to giving 100% of ourselves to each other, we have walked through some very difficult years (2020 - worldwide pandemic/my health crisis, 2021 - unexpectedly losing Mark's Dad to COVID, 2022 - Adjusting to our new normal) and through these years we have held each other up, together so well. In the past, difficulties drove a wedge between us as we each selfishly chose to put ourselves first but in the past few years we chose to keep serving, loving each other first. Each day that has made all the difference.
100% looks different on different days. On days when we are tired, worn down, sad, etc 100% may mean we have less to give than another day. Fine. As long as we give our very best, in that moment, to loving the other well. More often than we see couples who fight or argue we find that other couples simply become complacent. They forget to pursue, to treasure their spouse and to give their very best.
I am forever thankful for 14 years of working to daily pursue the one God had for me.
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