Monday, March 6, 2017

I Cry Every Time She Dances

Annabeth had her first dance competition on Saturday.

Our Tiny Dancer!

Her group earned an "Outstanding" distinction and we were all SO impressed with how well they did. For three of the six girls, it was their first time competing on stage.

As always, she danced and I cried.

A few years ago, I wrote about crying when she danced at home.

Those feelings haven't gone away.

I don't know why dancing is the trigger for me, but I always go back to the day she was born. I think about having her, losing her, and her coming back to us. I think about meeting her, blue-grey and lifeless. I think about waiting to hear from NICU, the doctor's phone ringing non-stop during the surgery, I think of those two tiny pictures NICU took and let Mark bring to me and I think about begging God to "please save our baby." In those hours that I waited to see her, I made God so many promises. I promised Him that we would give her the world, that we would do everything for her, and that we would enjoy every moment if He would just save her. I promise God that we would train her up to love Him and to serve Him. I promised God that if he made her heart beat again that we would do our best to be sure she used every day of her life to glorify Him.

The first time I sat alone with her and cried and cried just holding her. I made her all of those same promises. I promised her that if she would just stay strong and stay with us that I would help her accomplish any and ever dream she had.

She loves it, dancing. Her smile is SO huge, the joy radiates off her as she dances.
Maybe every parent feels that way about their child.
When I see her dance though, I am reminded that God restarted her heart, He brought her back to life. He gave us that day, all the ones since, and He gave us today.
The incredible blessing of spending today with her.

So, sweet Miracle Girl, may you always dance and while you dance I will watch, and cry, and thank God for the incredible gift of you.

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